9/28/2015 0 Comments Plenty of Fish: Part 2I've said before that I like dating and that is true. I really do. Everyone seemed to be able to relate to me or atleast get a kick out of it when I shared some of my experiences. By request, here are a few more of my random date stories. The Merman. The online dating world can be a strange place. I once had a guy send me a message on a dating site with creepy pictures of himself posing and swimming with a tail on. While some might think that's perfect for me, I was completely weirded out. I talked to him briefly out of pure curiosity but never agreed to meet up with him. Hopefully, he has met his mer-match by now. The Leprocan. A few years ago on St. Patrick's Day, I was approached by a guy in a restaurant. He was short, dark and handsome, dressed in green and his name was Patrick. I wouldn't have believed him had he not shown me his license. We talked briefly, he asked for my number and within an hour, he had text me and we were on our first date. It was one of the most hard to remember-unforgettable nights I've ever had. To this day, I believe that is the most drunk I have ever been. I do seem to recall a piggy back ride to the car at 2am. The Other Josh. *Note to Self: They probably shouldn't have the same name as your ex-husband. Our first date was at a really cool, brand new coffee shop where he mostly talked about himself and how he wanted to be an actor in Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I just drank my free coffee and enjoyed the vibe of the place. That afternoon, I started getting sick and by the next day, I had full blown strep throat. He brought me fresh soup, organic tea, vitamins and cough drops and even sat with me and watched TV. He didn't seem so full of himself then and had redeemed himself with the get well gifts so I agreed to another date. Oh, Jesus... Literally. He would not stop talking about Jesus. I mean, Jesus is cool and all but there's a time and place for that conversation and it's not Happy Hour on your second date with someone. It was loud and uncomfortable and controversial. I prayed for our check to come and when it did, I quickly got out of there. Thank you, Jesus! The Friend with Benefits. They make movies about this scenario so we should all know how it goes. Instead we ignore that because our situation is different and "It's not like that..." Bullshit. It is like that. You like him. He likes you. You enjoy spending time together. You wouldn't like it if someone else took his attention away from you and it's likely that he wouldn't like that either. This goes on long enough until you have to have the uncomfortable conversation about "what this is" Word of Advice: Just don't do it. Watch the movie with your best girl friend instead. The San Francisco Treat. I met this guy in a shitty bar in Texas. He looked at me through the fog of cigarette smoke and asked me "What do you want for your life?" It felt like he spoke to my soul. Maybe he did. Maybe it was just the alcohol. Six months later, he was living in San Francisco and I jumped on a plane for a 3 day weekend to explore our connection. We had only shared a few text messages and had not seen each other since that first night in the bar. It was the bravest, possibly stupidest, most exciting thing I have ever done. I will never forget that weekend with him. The way he marveled at life and saw the beauty in everything. I will likely never see or talk to him again. I don't need to. We all cross paths for a reason. We experience connection. We recognize ourselves in others. We learn. It is what we are here to do. A group of fish in the sea is called a school. Maybe there's something to that... Still learning... -Stevi
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9/15/2015 0 Comments What I Learned This WeekendThis weekend I spontaneously took a trip to Tyler State Park. Within an hour of getting off work on Saturday, I had found a dog sitter for my pup, bought some snacks, filled up a cooler with beer and ice, threw some clothes and toiletries into my backpack purse (Yes, I carry one of those. I loved them in the 90's and I love them even more now) and we were on our way. These are a few things I learned/relearned this weekend. 1. Coppertone Waterproof Sunscreen is the shit and Deep Woods Off is no joke. I am the sunscreen queen and mosquitos love me. Mermaids are used to being under water so we burn easily and that shit sucks. I've decided that mosquitos are little vampire bastards and they like to suck my blood. I am happy to say that I came home without a sunburn and I don't have West Nile. 2. Sometimes no plans are the best plans. Everything about my work life is scheduled. I know what my day will look like every hour on the hour for about the next 4 weeks. I can tell with a quick glance at my appointment book if I'll have time for a yoga class, whether or not I'll have a lunch break that day or if I'll be off early enough for Happy Hour. I have dates marked for trips, weddings, parties and concerts. It's nice to be this organized but it is also very liberating on my days off to do whatever the f*ck I want, whenever the f*ck I want. There is freedom in that. When you have no plans, you have no expectations and you can allow things to just happen naturally. 3. You can turn anything into a taco. I brought along a package of roasted chicken lunch meat and a container of store bought potato salad. There's nothing quite like a lunch meat & potato salad roll up on a beautiful day sitting next to a lake with a handsome guy. Try it sometime. 4. A kayak is quite possibly the most peaceful form of transportation. There's a first time for everything and I was a kayak virgin. I sat up front and Drew sat behind me. (I think the person in back has to do the most work.) The trees that surrounded the lake were gorgeous. The breeze felt amazing and it was so quiet out on the water. It forced me to silence my mind. I could have stayed out there for hours. Very cool experience! 5. There is something truly magical about a sky full of stars. I grew up in the country but I now live in the city and you just don't see stars here. This weekend was a New Moon. The moon is not actually visible on a New Moon which makes the sky that much darker and the stars that much brighter. I don't know much about stars and constellations but I do know that looking up at the vast sky and seeing all of those stars shining down on me was incredible. I saw 3 shooting stars that night. I felt like Simba in The Lion King trying to make sense of it all. I had an amazing weekend with new experiences and I was reminded again how important it is to be open and why I have that longing for adventure. Hiking, swimming, kayaking, drinking beer, gazing at stars, good conversations and reconnecting with Mother Nature. That's the good stuff. 9/8/2015 1 Comment My Labor of Love on Labor Day"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with" -Jim Rohn. I think he's got it right. I don't know much about the guy except that he's the author of The Art of Exceptional Living which I've never read but maybe I should someday since he seems to know what's up. I'm dog sitting at my friend Katy's house this morning. As I was sitting here drinking my coffee, I just looked around me. Katy is quite possibly the most creative friend I have. She has an extremely vivid imagination and can create anything. A piece of furniture, a piece of art, the inspiration for her next tattoo, an idea for a children's book, an eclectic outfit. She's a true artist (whether she knows it or not) and she inspires me. This got me thinking about that quote and the other 4 people I surround myself with. Who are they and why am I drawn to them? Megan. She is hard to put into words. She is calm. She is wild. She keeps me grounded and helps me find clarity. She is up for adventure and always down for a good time. She feels connected to the ocean and the desert as well. She is balance. She is love. She is my best friend. Whitney. She's a fashionista hippie chick if there is such a thing. She has a gypsy soul and an open mind and I love her for it. We tell everyone we met in a bar and she took me back to her place on the first night. That's the truth. Best drunken decision I've ever made. Meagan. I guess you could say we were almost sister in laws. She had a baby with one brother and I married the other. Everything happens for a reason so maybe they were just the connection we needed for our friendship. She seeks adventure just like I do. Whether it's a trip around the world, a long drive with the windows down and the radio up or trying everything on the menu at a super sketchy Chinese restaurant, she's always down for whatever. Drew. I've found myself spending more time with this guy lately. When I try to think of words that describe him, I realize that they are the very things that draw me to my closest girlfriends. Creative, grounded, open minded, adventurous. They say you should surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. If this is true and Jim Rohn is right, then these are qualities I possess as well or atleast desire to. There are plenty of people I didn't mention who play absolutely vital roles in my life. You know who you are. We have laughed and cried together. We've stayed up all night and talked about everything from the meaning of life to our crazy shananigans. We've shared secrets and dreams and each other's clothing. I've shared my sandwich with you. Maybe even let you sleep in my bed. I am grateful for each and every one of you. Happy Labor Day! Love, Stevi 9/1/2015 0 Comments All These Fish In The SeaMost of my friends are in committed relationships and they tell me often that they live vicariously through me. I spent the majority of my 20's in a relationship so I actually enjoy dating now. You learn a little about someone else and a lot about yourself in the process.
I have had some interesting experiences to say the least. The Sexy Vegan. For our first date we went to an Afgan restaurant. I didn't even know what that was. I thought it was a blanket. When I ordered the lamb dish, we pretty much knew it wasn't meant to be. The High School Flame. Newly single, I went to my 10 year high school reunion hoping he would show up. Like a scene from a movie, I walked up to the bar to order a drink and there he was. It was like a light shone down on him just for me. He was super hot and single as well. We revisited the connection we had from 10 years prior for a few months and figured out pretty quickly why it didn't work the first time. Fun while it lasted though. The Aggie Sneezer. On our first and only date, he showed up wasted because he had been at a football watching party. The only reason I agreed to even go at that point was because I was hungry, it had been a long day and he had on dress socks with sail boats on them. (They were pretty epic!) After 45 minutes with him sucking down 3 glasses of expensive wine at a fancy gastro pub, he must have had an allergic reaction to something we ate because he began to sneeze uncontrollably. (Like 50 sneezes. I wish I was exaggerating.) He was blowing snot all over the table. I handed him the linen napkin from my lap. Everyone was staring. I didn't know what to do. I can only imagine what my face must have looked like. I called a car to come get us and sent him on his way. He didn't come get his car for 3 days. I think he was so drunk that he forgot where it was parked. Needless to say, I never saw him again. The Suit. This guy was covered in tattoos but you couldn't tell because he wore a suit and tie to his corporate job. He was somebody important at some big company that I clearly know nothing about. He once went to a business meeting in a private plane. (Christian Grey?!) There was something super sexy and intriguing about that. He was the complete opposite of the guy I dated before him and I think that's why I liked him. (See The Narcissist.) The Narcissist. He never had a job or any money but he knew exactly what to say to make that seem okay. I'm a smart, independent woman and somehow I fell for his BS. He was, in my opinion, the true definition of charismatic. We stayed up late, slept all day, drank too much wine, drank too much beer, watched a shit ton of movies, ate delicious food he cooked for me, had great sex. (That alone will make you stay with the wrong person for too long.) He was chaotic. He was a whirlwind. He was a lesson. The Pink Catholic. This guy had 7 siblings and he was #5 in birth order, which is your pinky finger when you're counting so his entire family and most of his friends referred to him as "Pink". They thought it was a joke that his girlfriend had pink hair. He was very religious. I am not. I'm all about universal love. He bought me a Buddha tea light holder for Valentine's Day. I don't consider myself a Buddhist but thanks for being open minded, Pink! Great guy but I was never going to marry him and have a handful of Catholic babies so ultimately, we ended it. The Teacher. This guy was cool and we were never romantic but he's totally worth mentioning because he's an awesome dude! We met on Tinder of all places. (Further proof it's not "the hook up app" because we never did.) The first time we met I told him to meet me at my favorite dive bar in a pretty sketchy area of Dallas. Safe right? He was harmless. He's from a small Texas town but has traveled all over the world and currently lives in Spain where he teaches English and is a musician. He was just in Dallas for the summer. We hung out a few times and talked of traveling and music. He inspired me. I love meeting people who don't live a so-called normal life in terms of society's standards. He gave me one of the most genuine compliments I have ever received from a man. He told me that I had nothing to prove and no one to impress...That I was cool as hell without trying. He's halfway across the world now but I'm absolutely grateful that our paths crossed. I honestly don't know why I felt compelled to write about these guys and share the details of some of my relationships. This is just a fraction of what I've experienced. I don't know if I'll ever get married again or if I'll ever have the desire to have a family. For now, I'll enjoy learning something from each and every person I connect with and I hope that they can say the same for me. There's plenty of fish in the sea... And I'm a mermaid... -Stevi |