1/20/2019 1 Comment stark und verletzbarThis is an excerpt from January 29, 2016. "I am often torn between my desire to travel around like a gypsy and the familiar comforts of home. I want coffee at sunrise on a cobblestone street and the view of a sunset from the balcony of a villa. I want to stare into a campfire surrounded by stars in the desert. I want a hot air balloon ride with picture perfect grassy hills below. I want to swim naked in the ocean if only for a few minutes just to say that I've done it. I want the smell of pine trees mixed with the odor of my hiking boots which haven't been used yet but one day they will be broken in and worn out and that's the scent I have in mind. I want the sound of chatter in an unfamiliar language followed by the sound of laughter. I want to kiss someone and dance in the rain like they do in the movies. I want to stay in a hostel. I want to see the view of an incredible city from the window of a helicopter. Venice. Greece. Arizona. Ireland. Hawaii. Colorado. Spain. Oregon. Paris. Just for starters. I don't know where this longing came from. As a child, I didn't travel that much so it's not that I was raised this way. I didn't pay much attention in my geography and history classes so it doesn't stem from the study of other places. We were constantly moving when I was kid so you would think that more than anything I'd want to create a life somewhere and stay put. Not the case at all. At least for now. Ennis is my hometown. I basically grew up in my dad's restaurant. "B.J's Cafe. Best chicken fried steak in town". I learned to drive by cruising Ennis Avenue with my friends on Friday nights. I moved away after high school but I quickly returned to be with my high school boyfriend. I opened my own salon on my favorite brick paved street at the age of 24 which led to meeting my very best friend who came in as a new client for a haircut. I have created my life around this community. When I talk of moving or traveling for extended periods of time, I know my clients get a knot in their stomach because there's nothing worse than the first time you put your hair in the hands of a stranger, cross your fingers and hope for the best. It's almost worse than a break up but there are plenty of talented hair stylists in the community so I'm sure they will find their rebound stylist. The thought of completely disconnecting from Ennis is bittersweet." 3 years have past since I wrote that post. It wasn't time then. Apparently, The Universe had other plans. This is a recent photograph of me taken at East Side Gallery in Berlin, Germany. I love trees as well as street art so I posed and Drew snapped the pic. I didn't know what the phrase said when I took the photo or how relevant it would be in the weeks to come. Drew and I are moving to Berlin, Germany. So stark und doch verletzbar. Das Volk, der Mensch. Der Wald, der Baum. So strong and yet so vulnerable. The crowd, the person. The forest, the tree. It's true. We are moving to Berlin and this is how I feel. Strong and vulnerable. The thought of saying goodbye to everyone and the life I have grown so accustomed to is scary. It's hard to imagine not having my family and friends nearby. Sure, technology will make it easier but when I want to chat at 9 am, it will be the middle of the night for my mom or my best friend! I know we will figure out what works and they will have a neat place to come visit, but letting go is hard. I knew when I created The Studio that it was going to be temporary. 2 years. January 31st is my last day at work. It has been harder than I expected to prepare for this. As a hairdresser, I have been there for almost every occasion. As I hug my clients and they wish me well, it is mutually understood that in a simple way, we have shared our lives together. We've laughed. We've cried. We've laughed again and cried some more. We've inspired each other. Their loyalty has contributed to my overall success and it has truly been a pleasure. Even though I will miss them dearly, those who know me well realize that this an absolute dream of mine and a wonderful opportunity to experience another part of the world. I am excited for this new adventure! I am also nervous, happy, curious, sad, hopeful, appreciative, anxious, strong and vulnerable. It's a roller coaster of emotions. In the past year, Brene Brown has been brought to my attention on several different occasions by multiple people that I admire. She is a research professor at The University of Houston and a best selling author. Ironically, she is most well known for her TED talk: The Power of Vulnerability and the book titled Rising Strong. Thank you to my family for always believing in me and encouraging me. Thank you to my friends for your unconditional love and support. Thank you to my clients for being a canvas to spread beauty into the world. Thank you to Drew for making my wanderlust dreams come true. And thanks Brene, for showing up at just the right time. To be strong is to to be fierce. To be vulnerable is to be seen. I'll embrace it all. Stark und verletzbar. Love, Stevi
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